Hollifield: Cousin Junior helps with research work | Local News

Whereas perusing the interwebs with out that pesky protected search on, I stumbled upon a Yahoo!Life article with this headline: “Spelling errors will be attractive? Examine reveals males want courting profiles with poor grammar.”

The article mentioned it was a four-minute learn. I had a bit of time to spare between answering indignant telephone calls from people who find themselves not getting their paper, so I jumped proper in.

First, I’m not accustomed to on-line courting profiles. Name me old-fashioned, however I’ve saved my courting rituals to the normal Southern grounds of county festivals and household reunions.

Nonetheless, I needed to be taught extra about these probably attractive spelling errors I had heard a lot about since clicking that hyperlink.

“A examine has discovered that males want ladies with poor grammar and, surprisingly, are barely much less drawn to well-written profiles,” the Yahoo article acknowledged. “In truth, the outcomes of a survey by platform ProWritingAid, confirmed that male daters had been 10% much less prone to provoke a connection.

“That is in stark distinction to feminine daters, between 18 and 34 years outdated, who had been over 300% instances extra prone to go for a romantic suitor who hadn’t made any grammatical errors.”

So, if true, at its easiest, ladies are from Venus and like good grammar and males are from Mars and don’t like no good grammars.

As an investigative journalist, I needed to place this concept to the take a look at. There was no higher approach than to convey out ol’ Cousin Junior, who might or might not exist solely in my creativeness.

I recalled the opposite day once I was on the ironmongery shop and bumped into Cousin Junior on the nail gun aisle.

“The way you doing, Junior?”

“Fairly good. Hey, I bought on one them on-line courting web sites. It’s known as BarbersOnly.uk.com. It’s sort of like FarmersOnly.com, besides it’s for British barbers to satisfy ladies.”

“You aren’t a barber and also you aren’t British.”

“Hell, I do know that. However as soon as I get ‘em on the hook, they’re certain to fall for my allure and savoir faire.”

“The place did you be taught the phrases ‘savoir faire?’”

“I’m worldwide as of late. I been watching a few of them French artwork motion pictures on the web. Sacré bleu!”

Posing as two of Cousin Junior’s potential victims — I imply dates — I logged on and replied to his BarbersOnly.uk.com profile:

Mr. Junior: Along with my love for Seventeenth-century British poetry, I’ve all the time been fascinated by the tonsorial arts, the snip of the scissors, the buzzing of the clippers and the intoxicating aroma of the various tonics that line the mirrored partitions.

I earned my PhD in inventive writing from a small liberal arts faculty in a quaint city that hosted not one, not two, however three barber outlets that had been listed as must-sees in Frommer’s Journey Guides. In any occasion, I vastly look ahead to our future correspondence. Yours actually – Daphne.

What up, Junebug!!! I used to be attempting to lookup neckkid footage of Bob Barker and by some means typed in barber and there you was, you good wanting limey factor you. Tally ho! You look sort of like my third cousin Boodie who took me to the county truthful after the household reunion however bought sick on the tilt-a-whirl and was later recognized with the COVID however he’s doing high-quality now on account of he took a bunch of Metamucil and it washed it proper out of him.

Anyhoo, if you wish to go to Myrtle Seashore in August simply hit me up and you may keep behind the truck trigger we bought a camper high. Hold it between the ditches – Darlene.

We’ll see which one Cousin Junior solutions after his hand heals up from the nail gun accident.